Communication and Passes

I dropped the ball on the last few days of the 31writenow challenge, but I couldn't let the last day of the month go by without a post.  Maybe then at least I can say I fumbled the ball instead.  (Look at me making a sports reference, the person who wasn't sure if the Jets played baseball or football)


Listen carefully and speak honestly.  It sounds so simple, but it's so difficult to do. If you listen carefully to people, you might just hear God.  If you speak honestly to people, they might just hear God.  Jesus was all about being real.  He listened carefully and with compassion.  He not only spoke the truth, He WAS and IS the truth.  Truth is life and learning to truly do these things will make life fuller and more real.

I'm going to make developing these things a priority.  I'm not dishonest, but when I look back on some conversations, I realize that I sometimes say things for the wrong reason or that I misinterpreted something someone was saying because of the filter I put in through in my head.  I fumble the ball of communication they pass me.  If you think you could use some work in this area too, I invite you to join me in making some improvements.   Let's learn to really hear people and speak honestly.

RT 280 and the Narrow Road

Route 280 West

ROAD NARROWS
Character grows

RIGHT LANE CLOSED
Yellow arrows flash you to the left and you regret taking this path
Tail lights ahead stay red
Patience grows
Experience grows

BUMP
UNEVEN PAVEMENT
Now, the bumpy road feels like a massage


RAMP TO 287 CLOSED
Life detoured
GPS recalculating
GPS broken
Faith grows

ROAD NARROWS
Faith grows

ROAD NARROWS
Faith grows


LIFE AHEAD

Grandma and Jesus

Today, my grandmother finally made her great escape.  You see, she's been trying to get back to Hagley Gap, where she was born in Jamaica, for quite some time now. Almost on a daily basis (unless it was cold outside) she would devise her escape plan of walking to Jamaica from New Jersey, pack her bag, and make her attempt.  Her plan never quite worked, but today, God devised the plan and His plans always work.

Thelma Roberts passed away this afternoon.  If you go to the houses of several people she knew, you'll find hanging above doorways JESUS needlepoint art she made and gave to them.  It's sewn in a way that you have to stare at it for a little while until you see the word, but once you see it, the JESUS pops out and you can't believe you didn't see it before.  That is how I know she's okay.  Even as her mind began to fail her, her spirit never did as I would still hear her singing hymns that signified her trust in the Lord.  Jesus is so incredibly real to me because of seeds planted by people like my grandmother that I can't even believe I didn't see Him before.  The most popular verse in the Bible says that God gave His only begotten son, so that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.  She believed in Him. She has everlasting life.

Thank you, Lord, for my grandmother and the effect she had on everyone she inspired and took care of.  Thank you for every smile she put on a little girl's face when she presented her with the doll she'd sewn for them.  Thank you for the courage you gave her to come to this country alone and start a new life.  Thank you for the memories we have of eating the mangos she grew in her back yard that we  always made a mess with.  Thank you for your Holy Spirit being with her every moment of her life encouraging, comforting, and guiding her.  

Dear Grandma,

           You made it to Gap. Perhaps not Hagley, but definitely Heaven.  Enjoy the sunshine and the palm trees.  Tell Pa I said Hi.  Thanks for introducing me to our Lord so that I can be sure I'll see you again.  Love you.

Love,

      Nat

Geese and Success

Today I learned that I'm a goose-killer.  I kill geese all the time without realizing it and this goose-icide must come to an end.  I'm not the only one. You might just be a goose-killer too.

In the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, the author makes reference to the story of the farmer whose goose began to lay golden eggs. The more the goose laid eggs, the greedier the farmer got and soon, he became impatient with getting one egg at a time.  He decided to kill the goose and get all the eggs at the same time, but of course, there was nothing there. The farmer lost his gold-egg laying goose and that was the end of the gold eggs.

Covey used this example to show what happens in life when we don't nurture the thing that brings about the results we want. When we ignore such things and just look at the product, producing becomes unsustainable.  We need to nurture our relationships with others, take care of our health, and maintain the physical and mental tools that we use in order to achieve lasting success.

I'm still just reading the introduction and I can tell this is going to be a great book.  If you haven't read it, join me and lets develop together! We'll break up the goose-mob.

Realness and Unfrosted Stale Cake

What does it mean to be real?

Does it mean that the barbed wire fence you put up around your heart where the barbs are tough words and veils has to be torn down?

Does it mean you can't allow your mind to wander back to yesterday or into tomorrow and live what you're doing at the moment?

Does it mean that your words are only used for communication and never for manipulation or to make someone think something about you that isn't quite true? Or make them believe that you think something about them that isn't quite true?
Does it mean throwing velvety stuffed words at people instead of bowling ball ones so that when they hit, it won't hurt?
Does it mean your eye color must stay the same every day so the filter through which you see others and yourself is consistent?
Does it mean you have to know about the plank in your eye?  What if your eye is numb?
Does it mean no plastic is allowed to be attached to you? No more masks of makeup or deceptive speeches?

Does it mean that the emotional songs you write should be autobiographical? Or just other-relate-ographical?
Does it mean that your acting must remain on a labeled stage?  That your characters cannot be tested on human beings?
Does it mean you can't top all of your bitter actions with sugar and ice them with frosting?

Does it mean you have to intrinsically know the answer to this question?


I'm not making any statements.  Just exploring.

I do know one thing though; to be real is God's will, so I desire to be it.

Math and Attitude

In 7th grade, I failed to do my math homework so many times that my teacher made me call my parents from school and tell them.  With my teacher sitting across from me, I dialed the home number knowing both my parents were at work, spoke to the answering machine pretending to be talking to my mother, then immediately erased the message when I got home that day.  (Mom, if you ever read this, I'm SORRY!!!)  I don't know how I got away with that, but I did... that day. Unfortunately, I didn't get away with it in life.

I'm still paying for not adequately building the mathematical foundation I needed that was taught in 7th grade.  I had trouble with math starting that year and it all went down hill from there, right through college.  I convinced myself I wasn't good at it, would never get it, and gave up in middle school.

Thank God for renewal.  Lately, I've been changing my mindset about math and it turns out, an attitude change was all it took for me to begin accurately calculating things in my head that I never trusted myself with before. If there's something that causes you to automatically shut down because you feel like you can't do it, take a look at the history of that attitude and change it.  There may just be some things that you're not good at because of a decision you made a long time ago.  Re-examine. You might just be surprised and refreshed to find that the only thing blocking your progress in that area is how you think about it!

"Deep Knows" and Floppy Disks

I read an article today by writer Ronlyn Domingue about what she calls the Deep Know. She describes the moment when you're absolutely certain about what you're supposed to do. Whether or not you acknowledge and adjust your life to pursue that "deep know" is up to you.

This got me thinking about one of my own Deep Knows. Just like Ronlyn, mine involves writing.  I remember writing a poem in the 2nd grade called "Draw and Write" that led to that moment I knew I was supposed to write.  After writing that poem, my teacher encouraged me to write more poems and let me write them on the classroom computer while the other kids had to do other things.  I saved them on a floppy disk that unfortunately, I don't have anymore... not that I'd have anything to put it in.  All of my elementary school teachers were impressed by my creative writing and encouraged me in it.

It must have been around middle school that I lost the understanding that I was supposed to write because I stopped doing it and forgot all about my Deep Know.  It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I took a film writing course and a teacher reminded me by encouraging me to pursue creative writing in college. I didn't do it even though professors in college would ask me if I was a writing major or minor after reading my  papers.  I did take courses that involved writing, but I never made it a priority because logic told me that writing was the least practical thing I could major in. So, I majored in Social Science, the second least practical thing I could major in.

The third time I was confronted with the fact that I wasn't focusing on what I should was a prophecy spoken over me at church. The pastor, who had never met me, said that I would shape people's lives with my creative words.  It seems as if God's been screaming my Deep Know at me at various times throughout my life and I've responded with lots of "practical" excuses.

This morning, I realized that the last quarter of 2013 is about to begin and it feels like the year hasn't even started.  There's no more time to waste. It's time to hit the accelerator and make up for lost time.  Think about your own Deep Know. Are you in line with it? If so, great! If not, hop to it! Let's go, we're not getting any younger!

Leaders and Pocketed Chocolate

I always like to talk about where I'm going when I haven't gotten there yet.  I think there's value indocumenting the journey as I go.  I'm on my way to being a great leader and maybe you are too, so let's go there together.  If you're meant to be a leader and haven't started, here's why you can't wait any longer.

1. The people you were meant to inspire need you to do it.  For me as a leader, I've had a fear of what to do in the face of conflict.  As a particularly non-confrontational person, I don't enjoy confronting or being confronted.  I confess that confrontation in highly uncomfortable and finding the  confidence needed for such an confounded conference leaves me confused. (I would prefer sitting here playing with words all day than to have an argument.)  If you aren't taking your position as a leader because you're afraid of opposition and "haters", remember that you owe it to all the people you're going to encourage not to let the people who will try to bring you down succeed.

2. You need to do it for yourself. If you're meant to be a leader, you're never going to be satisfied until you start leading.  Once you're doing what you're supposed to do, the fears you once had will begin to melt like chocolate in my pocket and you'll begin to feel fulfilled.  You'll achieve things you never thought you could and that will make you feel great!

3. The next generation needs to see you being a role model.  I guess every generation looks at the younger one with worry, but I'm really starting to understand what our grandparents were talking about when they said "back in our day..." and then follow with something that illustrates some good quality that's been lost in the human race. There are a lot of lost kids out there that don't want to be lost and are counting on you to help them find their way even though they don't know it yet.

Productiveness and I'll-Think-Of-A-Connection-Later

I've been trying to write this blog post since 7:00 and it's now 8:30.  I understand what causes me to procrastinate when it comes to cleaning the bathroom or writing a term paper (which I thankfully haven't had to do in 5 years, but it makes me want to procrastinate just remembering it... ugh). I don't understand what  induces procrastination when it comes to doing something I enjoy, like writing.

Here's a glimpse into my mind as I reason my way through this and find ways to encourage myself:

1. Procrastination due to waiting for the perfect idea.  It would be great if every blog post could be EPIC, but needing to have an EPIC idea before starting will stop me from starting.  Same with everything else in life.  If you wait until you have it perfect in your head before you start doing it, it's going to be a whole lot harder to begin.  Just start. Give yourself the option of making it EPIC when you edit. Unfortunately, I don't edit these and can't give myself that option but the need so successfully complete the #31writenow challenge of writing every day in August acts as substitute motivation.

2. Procrastination due to procrastination. Sometimes a rhythm of immediately-not-doing the thing you most mean to do emerges.  Throw that rhythm off beat quickly!

3. Procrastination due to fear of failure.  It sounds extreme to be scared of a blog post.  I think the real fear is not doing well with something that I want to be a significant part of my career.  One day, I want to see my name in CD inserts (if CDs are not extinct like some kind of media Brontosaurus) credited as a songwriter both for my own band and many other artists.  I want to hear radio announcements with my name following the words "a new play by emerging playwright..." I want to see my name under the title of a book stamped "New York Times Bestseller" at the top.  BUT WHAT IF I FAIL AT WRITING A BLOG POST?!  Calm down. If God's given you a gift, you will be productive with it. Just have faith.

As you can see, this is an area where I have a lot of growth left.  Got procrastination issues? Let's grow together!


The book I've been meaning to read for about 2 years...

Health and Rest

Never underestimate the need for rest. Take a break. Good night.

I Know and You Know

I generally don't follow my instincts because they don't have great leadership skills.  When making a decision however, being overly careful in researching every possible course of action and evaluating every possible outcome hasn't produced the best results.

I'm sitting in the library right now and to my left, there are about 50 books on writing resume cover letters. I'm not sitting here because I need to learn how to write a cover letter, this just happens to be my favorite place in the library to sit... or perhaps it's a sign and I am supposed to be looking for another job... Anyway,  cover letters are generally one page long and there are 50 WHOLE BOOKS on writing them.  That is entirely too much information and I know there is a time  where I would have gone through many of those books carefully, but now I understand the best way to know how to write a cover letter is experience.  Get a quick idea from a book or two, write a few letters, and once you see the results, you figure out how best to do it.  

I don't know if that's the best example, it's just the first that came to mind because of where I'm sitting. My point is, there comes a point where the answer to moving forward doesn't come from taking in MORE information.  Sometimes I look up answers to questions I already know the answer to without realizing it or look up how to do something that I could find my own way to do.  Listen my fellow information junkies,  start looking for answers inside yourself first instead of everywhere else! A book or the internet helps if you have absolutely no clue or no experience, but don't let it make you lazy or lose confidence in what you actually know. Once you know it, trust that you know it.

Black Women and Stage Presence

Inspiration...

Nothing peculiar about these harmonies.


Shingai

Brittany

Andy

Nneka

Buika






Rachelle

Oxygen and Boxes

Last year, I noticed a pattern in pop music where all the top songs had to do with partying hard until the world ends or abandoning logic and just doing whatever feels good at the moment. Although January 1st, 2013 occurred and killed the world-ending theme, the other theme is still quite prominent. Wrong is becoming okay and bad is becoming the new good.

I sound like someone's grandma, but I cannot ignore the fact that the world is riding in a vehicle that is going in the wrong direction with mass media as the driver.  The popular music industry is getting bolder and bolder in leading people down the wrong path.  Music gets into our head and stays there without us having much control over it.  I've caught myself unconsciously humming or singing along to songs with messages to which I'm entirely opposed. That shows me that we have to be proactive about filling our minds and hearts with good so we don't subconsciously get carried down paths we're not aware of.

My band, Oxygen Box, is a movement for positive music.  There is a lot of great music out there with positive messages and conscious lyrics and we'd love to see the artists that produce that kind of music have a stronger, louder voice in society.  Let's use the power of music to influence positive change in our world.

 Here's an acoustic version of our song, Music for the Rebels.  The official video will be coming this fall!

Oxygen Box- It's not just music. It's a movement.

Whistling and Progress

There isn't much time left in August 7th, 2013 and this day will never happen again, so if I want to successfully complete this challenge of writing every day for 31 days, I'd better get moving.

Bobby McFerrin said "don't worry, be happy," interspersed with a lot of whistling, of course. A radio host today said that worrying never makes the future any easier, it just makes right now harder.  Jesus asked if any of us can add a single hour to our lives by worrying. "Don't worry, be happy" seems to be advice far too simple to be realistic, but it's not that far-fetched as long as you have something to replace worry with. The best thing is faith.  

Before developing faith, I didn't have a good enough reason not to worry.  Now I have a reason that is more than good.  In fact, He is the epitome of good.  There's a tense feeling that starts in my stomach, slithers up my spine and consumes my thoughts when I worry. The feeling doesn't make it past my stomach when I remember I have a savior with me that can handle ANYTHING.  This produces a great deal of joy and peace because now I can spend my thinking time on productive things that will have a positive result rather than being afraid of a future reality that probably won't even happen.

Christ gave me these new songs to sing and the power to sing them: "Don't worry, be productive",  "Don't worry, be  proactive",   "Don't worry, be faithful".

No New Folders for Me and Maturity

It's back to school time!  Staples is restocked with folders in every color of the rainbow and I see stressed out social media posts from teachers getting prepared. Only thing is, I'm not going back to school. This will be my fifth year of not going back to school.  

August used to mean a new chapter would be started in my life book like it's on auto-pilot, a fresh new mental space to occupy that was already cleaned, or another personal frontier to cross that was easily within my line of vision.  Tabula Rasa.  Now I have to start my own new chapters manually, clean out my old mental space and prime the walls to have the clarity I need to move forward, and I have to search for that frontier line without having a clear idea of what or where it is.

In college, I could change the image of myself projected to others just by changing Facebook pictures, statuses, and lists of things I liked.  The people in my classes and professors changed every four months, so I could revamp my entire classroom discussion persona if the one I used last semester didn't work.  Every eight months or so brought a new space to live in where I could create a fresh new design. There were new organizations to join and old ones to leave.  New causes to pursue and old ones to abandon.  New risks to take and old ideas to drop. Some of that is exactly what college is for, but I got a little too good at having a clean slate to start from all the time.

The great things that life after college is teaching me includes consistency, endurance, solidifying my integrity, strengthening of my character, the ability finish things right because there's no more choice, and treating people right.  In some of these things, it's just showing me how far I have left to go, but overcoming each challenge builds confidence.  God is working on me and I like it.

Endorphins and Acting Like a Rockstar

When my keyboard starts getting too heavy to carry after a gig and I'm out of breath by time I get it to the car, I know it's time to get back into a workout routine. Only problem is I don't want to.  I know there are lots of people out there that share this problem with me, so I figured I'd share how I solve it.  Here is how I get myself to get in shape when I don't feel like it!

1. Mouth the song on my iPod like I'm on stage performing it.  I happen to be a singer, but this can work for anyone while you're jogging or doing some other form of cardio. You know you're a rockstar in the mirror at home when the door's closed anyway!

2. Get a friend.  This gives me extra motivation to go when I don't feel like it and makes it more fun. Speaking of fun...

3. Dance.  I  know the singing in the mirror you do is probably accompanied by dancing anyway, so just stretch it out a little longer and get that heart rate up for about 30 minutes.

4. Meditate on the word of God.  Working out can be a good time to get a scripture in my head and really think it over deeply.

5. Eat well.  If I fill myself with junk food, I'm going to feel like...junk.  Junk doesn't work out.  It just sits there being junky.

6. Switch it up!  Don't do the same thing every time you work out.  Sometimes I ride my bike, go to the gym, jog at the park with a friend, go hiking, play basketball (actually that one's not true, I can't play basketball for my life, but I put it there for you), or mix activities like jumping rope, running, and jumping jacks.

7. Don't stop moving.  When I get home from work and then sit down for a while and start thinking about how I'm going to work out later, later turns into being asleep... then perhaps dreaming about working out... which doesn't help my abs one bit.  Go work out while you're already up and moving!

8. Think about the consequences.  There is diabetes on both sides of my family and as an African American, there's a lot of high blood pressure in my family as well.  I want to do what I can to prevent these problems for myself and my future family.

9.  Start small.  If I go through a period of time where I get off track, jumping back into the same level of working out as before will discourage me.  I like to take a little time to work back up to it.

10. Just start! I find this to be the hardest part. Don't think too much! Just get going and those endorphins will do the rest! In the end, you'll feel great and be glad you did it.


Say goodbye to that 6 (minus 5) pack!

...It's the best I could do with my free paint software...

Check out what I carry my keyboard to do by checking out three videos by my band!

Masticating and Melodies

Music on my plate
Melodies in my spoon
Harmonies in my cup
All the flavors in tune


I said grace
Blessed the songs
May they be nourishing
May they make us strong


Music makes my head hurt
Music heals my head-hurt
Solo violins
Soul vitamins

Chewing on lyrics
Sipping on sound
Deceptions lost
Freedoms found

The love digested
Flows through my veins
My ears, my eyes
My heart, my brain

And when it all ends
The echoes continue
The music lives inside me
The music lives inside you

-Natalie Alese

Dolt-phone and Peace of Mind

I've been fighting getting a smartphone for a while now.  It's not just that I don't want to pay for data. I don't want another device with so much... stuff.  My laptop, iPad, and stupid-phone are enough.  The way this society raises us, it's no wonder so many are afflicted with ADD.  Our attention is constantly jumping from one thing to the next. I know there are great advantages to shrewd-phones, but I can't help but think about the fact that people up through the 90's didn't commonly have these devices. I can't imagine it truly makes our lives easier or happier than theirs.

Sometimes you just need to unplug and enjoy time with the people who are in front of you. Write your friend a letter.  Focus on one thing for a while. ONE thing.  Take a walk in the woods and think. Get lost. You'll find shortcut secrets your GPS will never  divulge.  Have a good, long conversation with one person without someone else distracting you via text.  Constantly seeing and reading what's going on in the lives of hundreds of people you don't even encounter in real life is probably not healthy.  At the end of my days on earth, will I look back and be happy with all the time I spent playing games on my phone instead of perhaps engaging the person sitting next to me on the bus in a conversation?  (I realize sometimes it's not a great idea to talk to strangers, but you can usually tell when it will probably be okay...usually...)  There's enough technological advancement that has allowed me to stop having to think.  Having a clever-phone in my pocket ready to answer any question at any time is going to make it too tempting to think even less.

Don't get me wrong; I know there are lots of good and helpful things about bright-phones and it doesn't have negative effects on everyone, but I don't believe the good outweighs the bad for me personally.  I'll stick with my unintelligent-phone until upgrading becomes unavoidable.

Yosemite Sam and Spiritual Growth

Cartoons used to show a character's face turning red and steam blowing out of their ears to indicate frustration and anger. I never understood this depiction until the past few years or so because nothing had ever made me so upset that I actually feel like I'm burning up on the inside.  Now, management responsibilities at work and misunderstandings or  difficult situations within my own business allow me to get that experience regularly.

At first, I let those feelings run their course because I didn't know what to do with them, but now I have  an alternative; I give it to God.  I'm not saying I don't still feel like Yosemite Sam looks sometimes (minus the being a white, red-haired cowboy part... I never feel like a white, red-haired cowboy... I feel like the black-haired black girl that I am) but I can let it go much more quickly and get to the clear thinking stage.  We do and say irrational things when driven by anger that cause more problems. I know that's obvious, but how to stop doing it was not so obvious.  Trusting God with the situation allows me to see where I've made a mistake or be more understanding of the mistakes others make.  It also gives God the green light to just handle the situation so I don't have to worry about it.

Thank God for the perfect peace promised in the Word (even makes for a nice alliteration).  After the steam clears, I'm actually thankful for these opportunities for growth. How do you handle anger?

Bacon and Creative Confidence

I promise this blog entry is relevant to life, even if you're vegetarian. Read on!

I've never liked pouring hot oil into a can when I have to get it out of what I'm cooking. I remember having the idea of just sopping it up with a paper towel and leaving it somewhere to cool then throwing it in the garbage, but I'd never seen anyone do that so I assumed it was wrong.  Assuming it was wrong, I wouldn't do it, or at least not with anyone around.

Today, I decided to make the BLT Pasta recipe I saw in a youtube video and the host sopped up the hot oil with a paper towel!  (I'm sure you were already aware of this as an acceptable hot-oil-disposal method, but it's news to me).  Now I can openly use a paper towel to absorb the oil. I'm free!

I realized how often the thought process that stopped me from using my cooking idea has slowed me down in the past.  I'll have an idea, but because it's so unlike any others, it feels wrong and I dismiss it before giving it a chance to develop.  It should be obvious that a unique idea is a good one, but it doesn't feel special at the time.  That is why it took me until after I graduated from college to write full songs.  I had a few half-written ones, but they didn't feel right, so I let them remain half-written potential gems on papers that ended up under my bed in a shoe box surrounded by dust bunnies.

If you've ever felt like this, the next time an idea seed it your mind tries to sprout, let it! Give it the sunlight and watering it needs to grow into something great.  Below is a link to the video for a song I wrote called Runway performed by my band, Oxygen Box. (I also put a link to the BLT pasta video).
Enjoy!

...and the pasta.  I didn't use the creme fraiche because my mother is lactose intolerant, but it turned out nicely anyway by substituting with some salad dressing!

Peculiar Harmony: Heartbeats and Hair

"That's a stretch."  This is the most frequent response to the way I connect seemingly unconnectable ideas and make up words like unconnectable.  I call these connections peculiar harmonies.  I just started calling them that today because I needed a name for this blog and musical musings was taken.

Yesterday, I saw my heartbeat in my hair.  My head was down and my hair hung in my line of vision as I prayed with a friend and though my eyes should have been closed, I opened them for a moment and noticed one of my two-strand twists repeatedly twitching at heartbeat rate.  The strands of hair ran over what I suppose must have been an abnormally strong pulse in my neck.  It was a bit distracting, but I'm pretty sure God wanted me to notice. That way, I'd have something to start my blog with.  A blog I should have started a long time ago.

My hair is kinky. Kinky hair is unique to people of African descent.  The African people I came from live in my heart because I need them in order to know where I'm going.  My heartbeat is them playing the drums for my soul. Hair to Heartbeat.

Sometimes you just have to get started. What will you start today?